As i have said many times. Life with son has been hard. ANd i so do not mean to whine. As alot of other ppl have it so much harder than me.
Way harder,. So i feel guilty even writing this.
I do not like to admit that its not the perfect miracle. He has come so far. But at times his aggression can be alittle hard on me. And maybe i cause it?
I would move heaven and earth for him. Have tryed to all his life,.Maybe that's the problem.
Out of my mouth today flew the words. Theres the door if you keep it up. The words I swore I would never say.That's what i get for saying never.
The whole time in the back of my mind i am thinking, Hes a adult and a strong one. Please do not turn on me. He did not .
Because I am the one he comes to with his problems, I am the one who gets his wrath.
They have seen alittle at school. But not much over the years. As he was very quiet at school. When I asked for help on it many many times
there was none.
I have a cousin who has at times stepped in. As he has seen it. Daughter has at times too...But its up to me my problem.
I keep it to myself most times. Out of years of practice or maybe embarrassment. Or maybe I do think its my fault.
As it has been pointed out many times he prolly would not have the PDD with out me being his Mom.
One of my choices to speak out on in life has been autism . To make ppl aware. Threw a article. With our Representatives.
Since he was Dxed I have pushed it . One thing was the calm voice to use with them. WHat did I forget today?
I forgot the calm voice. .........
I opened my e mail to write this and there is a message from another cousin. As we have talked about this. Thier end response
and I quote" perhaps that was your punishment"
I keep thinking punishment for what? I am at a loss....For me ...For my son?
I do at times seem to bring out the worst in ppl. I wish I understood.
sorry for this
muffy