(((((Muffy))))))

No. He has an organic disorder. It is an illness. YOU DID NOT AND DO NOT CAUSE IT! Stop a moment and consider, maybe he feels the pressure of the holidays too? Maybe he is like the rest of us, sick of the unrealistic expectations of the season, but can't find a way to express it, so he expresses it in the way he knows how and with the one person on this earth who he safe feels enough with to show his anger. To show it outside would threaten him and he knows this.

You forgot that you are human too, with needs and limitations.

Muffy, Let me share a story from the day before Christmas Eve. I was running around like a lunatic cleaning, wrapping, cooking, etc. so that everything would be ready. I had just cleaned the kitchen and when I came back in I found a paper airplane on the kitchen table--no big deal, right? Wrong. I flipped out. I started yelling for Son (who was pounding on the piano). I yelled louder, he pounded harder. I got totally po'd. When he finished I screamed at him and asked why he didn't answer me at first. He said he was busy playing. I screamed again, "YOU ARE 26 YEARS OLD AND I DON'T WANT TO BE CLEANING UP YOUR PAPER EFFING AIRPLANES ANYMORE!"

I went out and cried in the car. I felt like a complete jerk, knowing that my son's illness is the cause of this child-like behavior. When I came back in the house we looked at each other and we both started laughing.

Muffy, it's okay to show your human side. It lets your son know that it's also okay for him to show his too.

Take gentle care.