Hello Tomi --

I don't know that you can "trust your gut" on this one. I think maybe it's best to go with "just the facts, ma'am" like Joe Friday -- and I'm bettin you remember who that is.

1. He's a murderer.
2. He's involved with someone else.
3. You're married.

If you give in to your craving for warmth, touch, human contact -- what will the consequences be? Will you feel good afterward if he returns to his other lady friend? Do you want to lie and deceive your husband? What if he wants a long-term relationship and the lies and deceit are to go on? What if you beloved children find out? What if he becomes violent or unpredictable in some way?

One thing I've noticed is that often my "crushes" are more fulfilling than reality. Not that I've had a chance at fulfilling any crushes for the last 16 years. And at my age, maybe they're all used up.

In sum, I'd say go with logica and reason on this one, not with heart or intuition or need.