I'm feeling your pain - my partner and I have had sex five times in the last year. The lingerie thing really hits home; I've done all kinds of flaunting and he just doesn't seem to get the message. I don't know what it is. He's 26 and I assume everything works down there, just not when I'm around. No idea what to do. My psychiatrist recommended sex therapy for both of us. I haven't looked into it yet. Is it possible for you, and do you think your husband would go?

I think you have answered one of your own questions, though: "Is it possible to be happy in a sexless marriage?" Clearly not, because it is making you unhappy and has been for some time, and you've gone to lengths, even cheating, to try to satisfy the need you have for affection and sexual passion. You and I are about the same age, and I know that I don't want to live the rest of my life like this, and if we can't figure it out, it's a deal-breaker, I'll be moving on. Somewhere out there must be a person with more passion who can show desire for me, and for you.