thanks Sannah im glad you were able to deal with the meeting in a way that met your needs - it is a big step for all of us to put ourselves first and a hard one - I tell my patients families that they should take care of themselves first so they have the strength to take care of their loved ones - maybe i should take my own advice LOL

as to working from where i am and not where i wish i were - i think that is a major struggle i have with myself and a source of much pain and grief for me - i have trouble admitting where i am and that i need assistance - i still feel it wont come although i have no proof of that - only the past to guide me - i dont want to be seen as needy by anyone - i had no needs as a child or that is what i tell myself now - no needs then and no needs now - but there is a void i cant fill and i dont know how - back to work tomorrow and i will push all this back into the box in my head so i can do a good job and give it my full attention - but its still there and i dont know how to get rid of it P7