Patty, you are right in thinking that faith is outside oneself, at least from my perspective. It's also based on what we know of God and our connection to Him.

It seems your parent's "religion" was based on their particular needs and how they understood Him.

The religion that I learned through my family of origin and well as extended family was also flawed. It's my firm belief that at least some of the basics I was taught were right because through life and all the troubles and tribulations I've come through, God was leading me. He wouldn't let me get too far away from Him. Now that I'm into reading His word more, He becomes more and more real to me.

Perhaps it's the abuse we received as children "in His name" that determines if we choose to hang on to the faith of an innocent child or if that faith is destroyed by the adults in our life.

It's never God that moves away from us or abandons us in any way. It's US. Faith, like religion, is uniquely personal. One of the beauties of God is that He works in each of our lives on an individual need/relationship. He speaks to us through His word according to OUR needs, not the needs or desires of anyone else. That there are similarities is no surprise. He made us all in His image and in some ways, we all have the same needs.

Something that I discovered and was affirmed by people of faith is that we tend to see God like we see our earthy father. I saw God as an aloof person, not really interested in my day to day struggles. He was a God with stringent rules that were almost impossible to follow. If you broke a rule, you'd better be ready to receive harsh punishment here on earth. In fact, He'd punish you just for the heck of it. He'd send down His wrath upon you at will.

Turns out that He's not a Father of wrath but a Father of unconditional, forgiving love. That doesn't mean that if we believe in Him we'll never have problems. It means that if we believe in Him, He's faithful to bring us through those problems, no matter how bad or serious and then gives us more than we had before. When we go through tough times, it's not a punishment but a lesson we need to learn to build character, some weak spot that needs strengthening, a place where we need to build our endurance... much like an athlete works on his weaknesses and builds endurance, learns the ins and outs of his game. It is through these exercises and lessons in life that He helps us build our faith. He's the perfect Coach. He knows our strengths and our weaknesses and He knows what we're cut out to "be when we grow up."

Find out for yourself who God is and what He's really like.