Well, after walking out on me two months ago, my ex (of 16 months) and I started talking a few weeks ago, and the other night, we had a very long, sober discussion about our entire relationship, friendship and all.

We both have agreed that first and foremost, we need to continue developing our friendship, and in the mean time, take it one day at a time. During our discussion, he stopped and told me to hop on his computer and check out his Favorites. In a special folder named "Jenn" were websites about mental illness, and clicking on some of the links led me straight to bi-polar. He said that after his anger subsided, he started to do some thinking and took it upon himself to do this, because he realized he had been unfair to me, not only when he left, but during our relationship when I gave him info on my condition, and he lied saying he read and understood it when he never even read it. (I believed him, because he is a very intelligent person, and if he says he understand something, by golly, he understands it!)

I was floored; for him to take the time after we break up to learn about me? He broke off the relationship, why give it a second guess? And I asked him as much. He told me that he's never even unpacked the box of stuff that belonged to him and his daughter from my house, and he said "Because, you are the best friend I have ever had in my life, and if anything else, I want to keep that. My daughter misses you terribly, and I not only did the two of you wrong, but I did myself wrong because I lost that friendship, and it's my own fault."

Whoa, big confession. We are talking about a man, who doesn't readily admit his flaws, let alone mistakes, but all the positives throw those off balance; they are things I can overlook, because I know what is in his heart.

As the conversation wore on, we came to an agreement:
We are going to work on our friendship (slowly), and his hopes are we can get things back to where they were. I really do truly love this man with all my heart (I never stopped actually) and he was my best friend as well for a long time.

I get excited when I start to think about him doing his own research. He know he screwed up by lying, and he wanted to make sure dotted all the I's and crossed all the T's, just in his own mind. And after researching it a bit, he confessed he gave me a raw deal.

So, we are taking baby steps, as we kina have been over the past few weeks, he's called me for advice on how to handle a couple of different situations with his daughter, and he wants her to be totally happy again. She told him "I miss my friend Jenn". He said there is still that sadness in her eyes, and he thinks it has to do with me. We both agreed that it’s in his daughter’s best interests that she is able to see me, and we’ve planned that once a month to start, while we are working on us, is the best route to take. Only time will tell.

So, tonight, WE (the THREE of us, little one included) are spending the afternoon together, going to a play park, taking her to Chuck E Cheese for some fun, then the night at a hotel, so we can all have some alone time together. He has booked a suite, that has a separate bedroom that his daughter and I will sleep in, and him on the pull-out sofa. I know this man well enough to know today is totally plutonic, and it’s all about his daughter, and her peace of mind. She is only 5 after all, so she doesn’t understand why I’ve been “gone”. So, my hope for today is that she forgets all her sadness, and just enjoys the day and night, with her friend, Jenn.

Jenn