cantstopcrying, there came a time in my life when I was just sick of how my mother continued to treat me, even though I was an adult. (There was some convoluted logic I had that it was OK for her to mistreat me when I was a kid, but not when I was an adult.) I was tired of her verbal abuse, insults, yelling at me, saying horrid things, hanging up the phone on me, dumping stuff that belonged to me on the sidewalk, etc, etc, etc. I guess I had told myself I was just putting up with it because I wanted her to have a relationship with my kids, I wanted them to have a grandma in their lives. Finally (when I was in my 30s!!) I laid the law down. I told her she could not treat me that way anymore, and if she did, she would not be allowed to see my daughters. I guess having that leverage finally did the trick and she improved her behavior dramatically so that she would be allowed to see her grandkids. I don't feel guilty about it at all. It's really not good for your kids to see grandma treat their mom that way, anyway. So cantstoptrying, if you have some leverage, due to your kids, go ahead and use it. Maybe your Mom's behavior will improve. If it doesn't, then she has only herself to blame if she misses out on seeing her grandkids grow up. Take the plunge. You may be surprised--it may work. And if it doesn't? What have you lost? An abusive presence in your life.