Wow, melmac, for as desperately uncomfortable as you must feel right now, the longer you can stay in the saddle with this before acting, the more informed your action will be when you do act.

With no T, it's probably especially good to stay in touch here, to sound this out for yourself.

I think part of it is, when confronted with out of the blue infidelity, it is immediately apparent that it isn't what you thought it would be, and it's not quite clear what it is at first. It doens't mean the same thing for any two people. It's important to take the time and spend the energy it takes to at least understand what it means in your case.

For what you're describing today, that's what I would offer. On another day, I might suggest the next bus outta town, but not while you are describing such an important cross roads of conciousness.