How do you deal with your feelings when people won't forgive you for something you've said or done and won't even talk with you about it or have walked out of your life completely, whether it be a friend or SO and you still love and care for this person very much? Can you find closure on your own and if so how, when there are so many unanswered questions on your part? This has happened to me a few times. I'm spending time researching on the net to find my behaviour, trying to think, learn and meditate on what happened, which I can only do from my own perspective of what happened and the few words that were said by the other party (usually in anger), if any, and work on the area of myself that contributed to the situation in hopes that I don't repeat my errors in other relationships, be them current or future. If we don't learn from our errors in failed relationships, then the same behaviour is bound to be repeated in other relationships, therefore making them just as toxic as the last. And what if the problem was at least partially caused by misunderstandings on the part of the other person and you didn't get a chance to explain yourself? Does that not bring you frustration that someone can write you off so easily without listening to your side of the situation, assuming that their own interpretation is the only one that is right (which in my case has never been true yet) and they want no part of hearing anything you have to say. For me the hurt still remains and closure is yet to be achieved for me. I still mourn the loss of my best girl friend from a year ago.

BTW, I don't want anyone to make assumptions to whom they think I may or may not be talking about because these are GENERAL questions and not about any one person to which has rejected and abandoned me. Unfortunately, it has become a pattern for me in my life. I'm in a position of examining each of them and learning from them, as they all bear some resemblance. My hope is to resolve the issues in my life that lead to my offending behaviour so that I don't repeat it in any other relationships.

BTW, so far I have learned that my behaviour is derived from not getting the love and nurturing that I needed in my childhood, but I'm also in the midst of continuing to learn why I behave in the manner to which I do and how I may act more appropriately.

I hope my post makes some sort of sense. I'm feeling physically and emotionally unwell. I apologize if I just seem to be rambling or talking in circles. I think I'm going back to bed til I feel better. Thanks in advance for your replies, to which I look forward to receiving. I'm hoping this post will generate enough replies that we may get quite a conversation going that we may all learn something from each of our own relationships, whether they be current, past or future.

All my best for each of you in all your relationships in life, whether family, friend, SO, or lover. None are free from the potential of problems making them toxic.

I also hope that nobody finds anything in my post to be offensive, it is meant to be used as an opening to generate a conversation to be used as a learning tool for us all. I hope that is achieved. I shall return when I'm feeling more at least physically up to it. I apologize for not responding to any other posts here yet today. I wish only the best for everyone who posts here and you are all in my thoughts and prayers.

I do apologize for my ramblings. I'm not very good with 'short and sweet'. Definitely something else I need to work on because I know how hard it can be to read long posts.