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Old Dec 29, 2008, 03:34 PM
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Beautiful_Pain Beautiful_Pain is offline
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Member Since: May 2004
Location: Inside myself
Posts: 986
I'm in agony. Sitting here, lying in bed--it doesn't matter. I want to cry, just keep crying until crying kills me. I'm so F'ing TIRED of feeling bad. My knees are huge and hot, my hands are so stiff I'm typing with the side of a finger, because I can't turn my wrist enough to type with the pad of my finger. I can barely bend my wrists-or elbows, my shoulders can barely move my arms. My legs are barely responsive, it takes so much before they even begin to move--they feel so heavy. I can barely get my legs to bend or flex to even move, so much worse to try to drag myself around 'walking'. Since my knees are bad, I've been walking funny--and its hurting my hips and ankles worse. My back is on the verge of some major spasms. My neck--IDK, when I move it it sounds like rubbing wet/oily rocks around on each other, and if I put my head back, it pops and crackles. I can't get comfortable enough to sleep well, and when I do, I wake up alot because I can't just turn over--I have to wake up and try hard for 5-10 minutes before I get turned over...then my joints are on fire, so I can't just go back to sleep, I have to lay there and feel the fire until it calms down enough for me to fall back asleep. It's hell, I swear I'm in hell.
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