Maybe this sounds trite, but besides thinking of things like leaving my kids behind when thoughts of how my ex treated me gets to be too much (duh, why would I leave my kids with the one parent that I think isn't so good for them?) I think of things like "what would so-and-so think if they uncovered <fill in the blank> in my house after I was dead?

I think of all of my unpaid bills and how I refuse to burden anyone with that debt.

Basically, I think of all the crap that everyone left behind would have to deal with on top of the fact that I offed myself. On one hand you would think it would make me feel selfish and more worthless, but it doesn't. It's snaps me out of my current selfish thinking that ending it all would be the cure for everything, when it really is the start of even more problems.

One other thing is that there would probably be someone, somewhere that would be going "I knew she was too weak all along" and I refuse to give someone that satisfaction.


I hope that doesn't sound like I think the pain you're in right now is superficial, because I don't. I just wanted to let you know how *I* personally deal with those thoughts.

I hope you can read this before someone deletes the thread.

(((((((((safe hugs))))))))))