WMD this is really serious stuff and i know you matter cause you are not alone on this.. maybe its me, or maybe its tuff being a guy here at times, and i know the story you have to tell is one with a lot of importance.. much of this i didnt know because i dont chat... its my thing i guess and its not to offend, its my own form of self protection and yeah, sometimes it makes me a distant person.. well, dangit, i want you to get to be you and its all any of us would like to have in exchange i think... the group has shown me a lot of caring and these people are smart... im glad they are helping some and its easier for me to understand you now to ive known a lot of hard guy cases.. not even gonna complain about my own.. i think its good when we contribute the truth of our lives cause then the rest of us become educated.. im not picking your brain for more info either but we can all be here i hope and get along too... sorry if it seems out of line for me to say any of this and best to you always