I hope that you don't let a non-internal source decide for you whether or not you can or will play music. I don't know much about your situation but I am a singer/bassist and used to be semi-professional until I became unable to leave the house or maintain strong connections with others. I still use music as a way to communicate to others, since I don't do that well in other ways and more over I get a cathartic response from music. I can be locked in my room and feel the composer/performer as if I was entwined with their soul. It makes me feel less lonely in my own world to connect with the spirit in which music is written and performed. I know that I may never go back to where I was as an artist but music is still my mistress, even if my other half doesn't understand. It sounds like you are more upset at an institution then with music, so I hope you don't cut music out of your life for the sake of being hurt. I know that institutions can take the fun out artistry and spiritual endeavors. It is not unusual for cooks, and musicians and artists and even pastors to go to school to pursue their dreams only to have the institution they turn to damage their relationship with their passion. If your passion is music I hope you pursue it in YOUR way, not in some schools ideals. I hope that you can find some peace for yourself.