I can't help but to wonder if a good deal of your stress is that you fear that you need to be strong for your loved ones and maybe you feel guilty about how you feel? Sometimes putting on the appearance of not hurting is as hard or harder then the initial pain of depression and mourning. I hope that you can learn to lean on your support system, especially your family. I am relatively confident they will be sympathetic. Not that you are but some people also feel ashamed of being depressed, that they feel like people will see them as weak or maybe even are afraid they themselves are weak. That's not the case, life has a way of humbling us at times and it's okay to take some time to rebuild and regain the strength we need to get back out there. And meeting people is hard for a lot of us. But it sounds like you need to focus on gaining some balance and worth in your life. If you feel alone then reach out to the people you do have, there is a far lower chance of rejection then if you go somewhere else and they are normally the people you can trust the most to help you. Also they know you well enough to help you if you are making unhealthy choices. Let me close by saying I know how feeling lonely is. I have been relatively house bound for 4 years, have one real friend and my life has been a sheltered one. You aren't altogether alone. There are many of us out here even if you feel alone where you are.