i'm awfully sorry you are feeling so down.  i really liked your thought on talking honestly with your therapist about how you are feeling. i was told once that i was responsible for my treatment with the therapist and it is so true. unless they know how we truly feel it makes it next to impossible for them to help us. and yes we can be friends...all of us here at pc. you are surrounded by all of us and we do care about you! 
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Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle.
The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand
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