Hi, thanks everyone. I am working on my PTSD in therapy with EMDR and talk therapy. I have tons of trauma to work through so it will probably be a long process.

I do have flashbacks, in fact that is why I am afraid of going to sleep right now. But right after my trigger, getting a xmas card from my abuser, I was just shaking. I couldn't stop it either. But It has stopped for now. Now I have the thoughts of what the flashbacks are bringing up for me. awful stuff. It has made me feel unsafe again, hypersensitive to everything.
I am glad I see my T this Wed. 2 more days.
She did send me some emails today, and it helps, she thinks I am acting out out of a need to be protected. I thought it was anger, but she thinks I am reacting in self defense, because I feel threatened.
Thanks everyone for all your support. I will try to calm myself.