hi bella.

have you discussed with your doc being put on any sort of anti-depressant? is she aware that you are having thoughts of suicide? i don't have BP myself, but i'm on 2 anti-depressants and am soon to start lithium to augment those, so i know a combination like that is possible (but i'm not sure if it's *advisable* for someone who has a different diagnosis).

please let your doctor know (if you haven't already) about your thoughts. there is no reason for you to tough it out if there is something else she can think of that might help relieve your pain. my doc has given my zyprexa (an antipsychotic) to take when i'm feeling suicidal - it helps numb all my emotions, and i only take it for a little while - until the new drugs i'm starting kick in and start doing their work.

maybe something like that would work for you?

xo deli