Jan. 6-8 I'll be in Pennsylvania testifying against the man who raped me two years ago. It's not my case, I'm simply a character witness against him for another girl. I keep trying to not think about it and how close it is. I'm ashamed to say that I'm honestly scared of seeing him again...he never used physical force, but threatened my life and those of people I love. The girl who's trial against him this is, is mentally retarded. He had to physically force her. He couldn't scare her into it. I know this sounds bad, but I feel like I'm the retarded one...because he fed me all of this crap and I believed it, afraid, and she had enough dignity and courage to fight back...unlike me. I'm trying to not cry, I've got to keep myself together until after the 8th.

I'm really really sorry if I triggered bad memories for anyone. Just trying to state how I feel. My husband and I are bringing our son with us to the trial, we can't find anyone to babysit for three days that we trust. I feel guilty for bringing our baby into the courtroom with us, but where else can he be? That pervert had 11 other cases against him that were dropped, some of them little kids. I don't want him fantasizing about my son....just the thought of that makes me so angry. Does anyone have any help or advice? I'm really sorry about this post. and thanks.