I've been told that I'm most definately bound to be suffering from PTSD, because of the amount of traumatic things that have happened to me over the past 17 years of my dreary and bleak life..

I feel kinda annoying and like they'd just tell me to eff off if I just kept nagging them about it.. Could that be so? Or is it just an unreasonable fear of mine?

I don't know what to do, last night I didn't sleep until 4am and had to get up at 8 this morning, plus I've run out of meds and can't get any until next Monday.. GAAAHHHH!!

So, feeling very tired, with loads of shopping to do, with a grumbling stomach, but feeling satisfied because of an empty-ish stomach.. :S

I can't go anywhere until staff here decide that they want to move me on form here, until they decide to let me have a flat where I can get a kitten and start to feel better because I will have company that I actually want.. I'm seriously getting obsessed with this whole thing and I can't stop thinking about it..

Everyone expects me to just forget it, my boyfriend expects me to just want sex all the time, like before all this. I mean.. Of course I do want to make love and such, but.. Just flashbacks and such like really get me going and cause him to worry and then I feel bad for panicking and stuff like that.. I remember sitting on the sofa next to him and his Dad walked past and touched my hair, just a playful thing he does. I knew he was going to do it, but I flinched and then had to pretend I was messing about, because Connor's (my boyfriend) Mum looked at me and started laughing. They know nothing about this, which is why I had to cover up and pretend i found it funny too..

Gah! How much longer can I live like this? In constant fear of every move, noise, person, object ever. It's horrid. Everytime someone starts walking behind me, I get scared that they're going to grab me from behind.. Like yesterday, walking into town, a middle - aged man started to walk behind me and I swear he kept staring at me.. I walked faster and faster and eventually, at a crossing, he caught up with me.. I had to let him go in front I was that terrified and just kept looking over my shoulder..

I hate this, I really do.. What can I do?

Why is this worrying you so much as it is? Not meaning to belittle your emotions, as I say that. I'm fed up. Tired. Bored. Stuck. Done. Give Up. I can't take much more, I really can't..

I've been trying so hard to just get on with my life and "carry on as normal" but it seems impossible.