This is my intro that I already posted, but I wanted to list it on the depression forum. I don't know what I am supposed to ask or say, but I want to feel better. I cannot even sleep anymore. My husband just keeps telling me "If you would eat better, you will lose weight, which will make you feel better, and evrything will go away." How can I do anything to better myself when I can barely motivate myself enough to get dressed in the morning???

HI, my name is Deb. I am 30 yrs old, married with 2 girls. I just wanted to introduce myself.

Afetr my last daughter was born, I had a lot of pain, and so I could not take care of my kids very well, I guess that is when the depression started. At 24 yrs I had a full hysterectomy, and that is when it got worse. I gained a lot of weight(went from a 5 to a 13) after the surgery, and to this day I hate the way I look. I cannot even be intimate with my husband.

I am on citolopran, but it just does not seem to do much. I feel trapped, my days consist of work, then coming home to help with the kids. Afetr dinner, I just go to my room, or on the computer. I feel guilty for ignoring my family, but I just can't seem to be happy. I don't have good insurance, and no money, so I can't get the help I am sure I need. I have no friends, so I go no where.

I just need help feeling better about myself, I feel like I don't exist, like I am just going through the motions. My husband talks to me like I am 3 and tells me to just get over it. I want to be a good wife and mother, but I don't feel like I can. I have even od on pain pills a couple times.

I am the youngest of 5, and most of my life it was just me and my sis who is 2 yrs older then me. She was classed as so many different things, like manic depressive, bi polar, schizophrenic, they just kept putting her on meds, and a lot of times, I had to go somewhere else cause my parents thought she would hurt me. tThey now know that she has aspergers, and a son that is severly autistic, so my parents spend a lot of their time helping her. I also have a daughter with aspergers, so it makes my days even harder. I just can't talk to my parents(whom I work for) because I should be the normal one, they are too busy taking care of my sis and her son.

I just don't know where to turn, I am afraid my husband will go to someone else if I don't figure things out, and I want my kids to have a mom.

Thanks for listening
Deb