I'm afraid I'm no good at giving advice except to say that those who have posted to your thread are often right on. Kudos to them&kudos to you for hanging in there despite your difficulties. Something you mentioned-that you'd received a card from your abuser-that seemed to have set this reaction off...have you tried/is it possible to have no contact from this person? Not even from the mail? If I'd gotten a card from my abusers, I would have written "no longer at this address" or "please return to sender"&not have even opened it. The abuse is hopefully in the past&you shouldn't have to have contact with someone who hurt you. Keep your chin up-your appt. is soon&anxiety attacks are common reactions to triggers. Unfortunately, with both PTSD&anxiety disorder you just have to ride them out til they're not so much of a problem. YOU CAN DO IT!