as others have said i think it would be good if you discussed this with your T - I go through stages of wishing i was still numb - but being alive is much better - even with the sadness and pain, much better than sleepwalking through life.

I think as we grow (hopefully) through therapy - we have sorrow at what has been and what was lost - part of us wants to hang onto the old pain because we know it and can bear it as opposed to what we dont know will happen in the future - there is often pain with progress - i wish it wasnt so - please discuss this with your T - you never know they may know a way to help P7