(((((((((Tao))))))))) Reach out, into your faith. I know you have deep faith and a connection to your church. Call someone from there. Please. I know you say you are at home and won't do anything there....what about when you go back to school? I know you've thought a lot about it. I also know you have said you won't go back to the ER, but Tao, you are important! You have a purpose in life, honey. Who knows what it is! No, your purpose isn't to hurt like this, but you'll come through this with the knowledge and healing that you are a survivor. Please, Tao, please....it doesn't matter who you call, but call someone or go in to the ER, any ER. If you think there is no one to call, you are wrong. There is always someone, hon. Reach out because YOU ARE WORTH IT!