thanks guys for sharing - please, keep them coming!!

junerain - lol at your T's lunch caring about you. but isn't it amazing that he (your T)gave you that response - such validation of his care for you, i think. what you said about the radio host... that's one of my concerns. i am scared that pdoc will think i encouraged this, because it happened with different people. that even though i didn't want it to happen, something about me makes people do that stuff to me. my T (who i recently terminated with) said something along those lines. i never talked to him about the abuse again. so i'm a bit worried that pdoc will do that. but he's never let me down before, and i respect him a lot. if he thinks that, then maybe there is some truth in it after all?

thank you so much for your post, minime. it feels so good to have someone be 'proud' of me, i want to give you a big hug for that. what you said about feeling yuk and it being your fault - OH YES, i relate to that. i was so scared when i told pdoc about some of the things i did (because i did some pretty atrocious things) that he wouldn't be able to look at me anymore from disgust. but he said i was little and that i didnt have a choice, so he doesn't blame me. how kind is that?

thank you exoticflower for reminding me to go slow with friends. since i've started, almost *everything* has been rushing back at me and threatening to come out. i havent told my friends anything much (well, i told something to one friend who'd previously disclosed to me) but that's been it. this ride of 'coming out' is so topsy turvy... feeling so many different feelings at once, but overriding them lately has been hope and a more positive outlook... that people can still like me even after this...

i guess i'm trying to verify if it is just pdoc who is being nice, or if there are other people out there like him too. i am worried i will never find someone else like him and that one day he will have to leave.

christine - your thoughts and words are so kind. i would buy you happiness too - and courage, so you could share about your eating problems. thank you for sharing that with us here, i hope you find some relief from it soon.