I have been through a lot in the last few months. The only thing I "know" how to do to cope was SI (different forms). I have never really told anyone over the years that I do these things. There were summers that it was around 90 and I was wearing a sweatshirt, my "special" sweatshirt. I always wore this one whenever I cut on myself. That was the way I did it for the longest time. Then my folks found out about it and whenever I wear sweatshirts I had to show them my arms. Then I started cutting my legs and My mom saw me when I jumped out of the shower. Now I will take extra pills to find comfort and rest. On a daily basis I take 900 Lithium perscribed and 800 Seroquel, then I will take up to 900 extra of Seroquel. It's like it makes all the sadness and memories just seem like it was a bad dream. I don't want to deal with it. I just want it to go away. I hate the nightmares that I have at night and I hate the triggers that I go through everyday. I really don't know anyway else to cope.