My new therapist seems to be working out. The little things that concerned me (incase they continued) have basically been dealt with. We had the privacy discussion and she seemed respectful of my concerns. She is trying to link up my past with my present in order to understand my present better. The latter kind of deals with my concerns around theoretical orientation. We seem to be meeting in a different room (one that is less like a consult room) and she asked whether it was hard for me to risk feeling attached to someone when it was time limited. So... Working out well.

But... What are we doing? Maybe having some kind of crisis around that right now. Talked a little about what it was like living with my Mother. Needed to 'sleep' for about 4 hours after that. Partly a function of my sleep schedule. Partly a function of my... Not being as functional or able to deal as I appear to be.

The relationship... My having a relationship with a therapist is traumatic in itself. Because of the dynamic. Don't get me wrong... I need it... Or I start to fall apart functionally and more generally interpersonally... But it is traumatic in itself. 'Disintegrates with therapy'. That is me, indeed.

What are we doing? I don't know. I want to... Interpersonally withdraw quite generally. Going to have a work day tomorrow. Need to get into my work. I feel... Attached to her already. Fairly scared. I don't know what is wrong with me. I want to go home.