Heh, I suffered from number 13 - focusing on the negative really gets to you. Especially if you're paranoid as well. o.O

I have a question though.. since it's irrational thinking, clearly I can't be rational when approaching those statements. So uh.. what's the irrational part of number 10 and 20?
For me, that's what I want in my life. Some people want a career, some people want to see the world, I want to meet a good man, get married, have kids and be a housewife. I'm not even kidding lol.

I don't obsess about it when I'm doing good (like now), but when everything crashes down - the thought "If I had a special somebody, it wouldn't be so bad" repeats itself. But I also know that I'm right in thinking so. When I was with my ex (were together for 2 years and were engaged), I was off medication. He worked as a placebo for me, I only had two episodes of depression, but I can't call it depression - it was more like despair. Everything felt useless, but when I saw him - I knew that things weren't as bad as I'd like to pretend they were.
Who cares if I have no money, if I lost my job, if I'm flunking school - I had him and he was all I needed.

To put the effect he had on me in perspective; a month after we broke up I had a severe mental meltdown, I quit school, I was suicidal for two years, I was in and out of psych wards etc. I haven't managed to climb myself out of that dark pit until now; and I only have Lamotrigin to thank for that.

So uh.. can the listed irrational thoughts sometimes be rational?
I'm not in any therapy thingies.

There's also one that I came across while reading up on self-sabotage; when you're afraid of doing good because people will expect you to do good in the future, but you're also afraid of doing bad and being a failure. Being in the grayzones instead of black/white.