Molly, do you have a cousin that lives close but not so close you still feel trapped? Maybe you can go stay there for a couple weeks. You need to do something, peg is right, it's gone on long enough. You cannot keep keeping everything inside and not knowing how to cope. Molly, it sounds scary, you may think you won't be able to cope if you go in but you need to do something. Call your gp and be 100% honest with her. 100% honest about how horrible you doing. You gp--or a nurse there--can help you fill the information out you received. Call the therapist office and tell them you are having a horrible time filling the paperwork out because of being triggered.