prue, i am glad we are friends.  i never feel like i have to read or respond to your post. i want to because i was once in that deep darkness that you now experience on a daily basis. i know how real those sad feelings are. i know how lonely and discouraged one feels. i understand when hope is sometimes lost. i understand your pain because i felt it too.
i don't see your post as emotional blackmail at all. i see you as a caring person reaching out for help. i will be here for you as so many others will be too. never feel that you can't express how you are feeling. we care, prue....a lot...and daily hope that you will feel the sun on your shoulders and find peace in your heart.
as i told you before, a miracle occurred with me regarding my depression that i had experienced my entire life. with medication and help from a pdoc i finally knew that there was hope for me. my life is so much richer, my days for the most part are inspiring, and my heart full of gratitude. we want the same for you. it can occur. just believe that the struggle is the beginning of a journey to a new life. you are doing the things that will help you. keep posting and always know we truly care regardless of how you are feeling on any given day.
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Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle.
The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand
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