I lived much like you do several years ago. You sound like you may be agoraphobic...look it up on the website info pages. There's also something called social anxiety disorder. I understand not wanting to be around people-I'm often afraid that they want to use me-which is common-or they want to hurt me.(In an emotional way.) Maybe I'm paranoid, but I've found that my intuition is my best friend. If I meet up with someone&my intuition says "uh oh" I listen now. I used to be really stubborn about not listening to it&I've learned my lesson the hard way. Keep your chin up-coming here is a good start. Welcome