Like others have said, don't be so hard on yourself. You've got triggers that are being activated. Remember that the PTSD makes our thinking fuzzy even when we're doing fairly well. I don't know how to help you deal with the anger-I'm stuck in anger right now myself. But please know that there are many of us here who feel we can rely on you to be here to talk or to give advice&that's such a good thing! Take heart, the holidays are almost over!