((((((((((Kathy)))))))))) Those are safe hugs if you want them. 1st, welcome to PC. I hope you find the support you want/need here. 2nd, I'm sorry as well that these coping mechs are the only ones you feel you have. Are you in therapy? Do you have meds? I think these things might help. I was hesitant at first, but they've changed my life in such a short period of time. I wish you the best.

Ry