hang in there it can get better -you are still trying to be safe and thats ok - its early days yet and you have been through a major trauma.

Being scared to ring the help line is understandable - geez i was terrified when I rang for an appt with a counciller after my incident - i hung up a lot before i actually rang - but it was worth it - just being able to talk with someone who will understand where you are coming from is a help.

Can you ring the phone company (from a friends or when out shopping with a friend) and see if they can seperate your home phone ?

bringing this on yourself? i think its more that you are dealing with what someone has done to you, and you are doing the best you can with the support you have - try to be kind to yourself - did you try the police for a councillers appt? its worth a try - take care P7

ps not sure what can be done about the adoptive brother - do you want to do somthing? maybe dealing with the current situation is enough for you at the moment - although i can see they are all linked - i really wish you could talk with a psychologist aobut this - they often can help - take care P7