sounds really rough moonkin. i'm sorry that things are hard for you right now.

therapists are human... and sometimes... they aren't perfect. i don't know why she was late... but sounds like she is feeling a bit overworked at the moment. sometimes when people feel like they are doing the best they can and it still isn't enough then they feel frustrated. she may have been a little frustrated that she wasn't able to keep her promise with only being 10 minutes late... and she may simply not have been in the place to be given a hard time about that.

> "I don't have anything to prove to you anymore, I already see you basicly f or free"

so it sounds like she feels that you are testing her. needing her to prove that she cares about you and maybe not noticing or appreciating or taking it as a caring gesture the things that she does do.

i know this is hard... sometimes therapists need some encouragement... some kind of acknowledgement that they are helping. otherwise they can start to feel helpless and... frustrated.

but then from your perspective... you do really care about her and appreciate her. does she know how much you care and appreciate her? now might be... the time to tell her.

i know this is hard. some would say that it is part of their job not to respond like this. i guess i think... that they are human and that we can't really expect more of them than that. maybe this is important with respect to you learning how to take care of your therapist. i know i needed to learn. to help prevent therapist burnout. linehan has this stuff about that... it really has helped me develop good working relationships since then. before that... things used to go badly sometimes. they would end up feeling frustrated with me and i would end up feeling uncared for.

sounds like you need to think about the things she has done for you. given the things that have helped. the things that you appreciate. the things that show you that she does care and show you that you know she isn't just about the money etc. then: tell her. if you do want to keep working with her then you need to let her know.

good luck.