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Pink,
"Wow-- termination with no real explanation... especially when it is completely one-sided and not mutual whatsoever... I can't even imagine how hard that is. Do you think it has to be something that you did?"
Well, it was phrased as "After all that's happened, I can no longer remain objective." Yes, it stems--somehow from a fantasy sex website I did--I posted about it on my soap opera termination story—another T given the info by my ex-GF/stalker called the board about my T, for what I don’t know b/c nothing inappropriate was suggested or done. ...Long story. But that started some ball rolling, but I don’t know what other doors might’ve been opened. I might not even know the whole story.
In one message to my pdoc, in response to his query of why she terminated—as I had asked him—she wrote “X knows full well why he was terminated from the explanation given at the final session.” No, I don’t. Two issues were conflated under the “After all that has happened.” That uncertainty is what’s made it so hard. I could be a monster that she’s afraid of or she could’ve screwed up and can’t continue. In our last conversation I asked her if she was mad at me and she said "I was never mad at you"—re: that issue. Then she told me I needed to start living in the real world.
I don't know exactly what the issue was, and there are, as I said, multiple simple reasons she could've given "You violated trust/etc...." But I wasn't given any of those seemingly relevant reasons.
"Maybe your therapist wasn't exactly scared of you, but perhaps your therapist was going through some of her own feelings that interrupted her ability to do therapy with you. Maybe she wasn't getting adequate supervision, or wasn't getting supervision at all. "
The unable to remain objective reason could be 50 different things, which is why it's been so difficult. yes, it could be all about her--maybe she felt she'd been mistreating me, maybe that she'd let my transference get way out of hand, maybe consultants seeing the material and querying her concluded that she’d done this or that or not done, maybe...nothing to do with me per se, maybe everything. Maybe she became fearful, seeing my truer self more than before.
In your personal and professional experience, what sort of interpretations would you come up with for that sort of explanation? Common patterns with terminating that way?
Thanks for your reply.
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