Happy New Years Too!

I felt sad because I spent it alone this year but I was safe, sober, and productive. I'm starting to look forward to a New Year with a clean slate and possibilities. I joined some meetup groups in the area for a better way to meet new people in Philly without going to a bar or a club. Right now that seems to be my biggest temptation - wanting/feeling that I need to go to a bar to meet woman or make friends. That was my easy way out to socialize and it is hard in the city seeing all the people lined up to get into bars and clubs when I walk around. I start to think that this is what everyone does to socialize. Whether or not that is true, I know it hasn't worked out well for me in the past. I wish my mind would just consider this NOT an option for me anymore but my mind is tricky.

I joined about 8 to 10 meetup groups in Philly. A boardgame group that meets once a week, an OCD support group, and a sober social meetup group. Also, I joined several writing groups as I've started to write seriously now. Oh and a movie group. Don't know how good any of these might work out but I feel better making an attempt to make this a good year. I have a lot of other work to do on myself but the whole social thing for me has been a big issue on my mind and in the past.

I don't really consider AA meetings to be a social thing for me as I'm there to work on myself. Just like I wouldn't consider going to group therapy to be a social event. Not that there isn't a social aspect to it but it's not the same to me. I guess I'm rambling, I put on a pot of coffee after midnight so.....anyway I'm just trying to stay motivated to move forward and have internal motivation to stay sober and get healthy mentally too. External motivation only has worked temporarily for me in the past. I've realized in the last day or so that I dwell way too much on the past and never think much about my future. I'm trying to visualize a positive future for myself to lift my spirits and motivate me to grow.

Anyway, this all sounds good but check back with me in a month to make sure I'm following through haha. Not that anyone here asked to here all of this on a Happy New Years post but I just felt the need to share what I'm feeling and doing right now. Thanks for reading my ramblings.

I hope everyone has a positive and safe New Year. 2009 baby can't believe it.