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On the new T: Problems.
As I talked about, he very ardently affirmed my “severely disturbed patient-hence- fearful therapist” thesis knowing how suicidal I am. A very bad sign. I'm accused of being overly intellectual, overly analytical, being out of touch with my feelings. Absolutely, I'm that way. I live in the abstract. But in that moment, feelings were what mattered--suicidal ideation, right? I found him heartless and lacking wisdom in that moment.
I need to process the termination in ways that I don't think he's capable of doing. It's a grieving process in great part. I've sat on it for so long. I like the intellectual, classically-trained approach of his in general, but here and now, for this big issue I need to get beyond, I don't think so. Need to decide on this. Maybe see someone else for now, return later.
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