Thanks, everyone, for your replies.

The thing is, it would be pretty hard not to be emotionally dependent on the person whom I was closest to. My father and I were dependent on each other. Some have said that I am "stuck," but it was only four months ago that I went out for coffee and got a phone call while in the parking lot, and found out that he was on the bathroom floor, gone forever. I'm pretty much still in the "I can't believe this happened" phase. I guess it would still be shock. What would it be like for those who are extremely close to their Ts, if their T called in the middle of your day and said that they never wanted to see you again? I am angry at my dad for leaving me; he neglected his health. People say that my father would want me to be happy and have a lovely life-- well, he's gone so he wouldn't know, would he? He is gone and he left the rest of the family to suffer.

I hope T calls soon.... just not in a good place today. I guess since it's New Year's Day there is a chance he won't call tomorrow, and I might not be able to answer because I will be at work all day.