(((((((((((((((((((((((((ThePainNeverDies))))))))))))))))))))))))) I am so sorry that things are so bad and are effecting all aspects of your life. Do you have t to talk to? I am sorry as you may have already said if you did. I thin it may be worth investigating if having one wouldn't help you work through somet of this. I am sorry that SI seemed to you to be your only alternative. I hope you didn't act upon it. Please try and be safe.

BB