This seems more than grief and I think that this is what Mouse was referring too. Pink, it seems that your dad was the only person that you were connected to until you started with your T. Your dad does sound wonderful and the relationship that you had with him probably saved your *** (besides being very fulfilling and wonderful in its own right). IMO your grieving is normal but what makes it so unbalancing is that you don't have a connection with anyone else in your life except T. I would suggest working on this area of your life so that you can gain some balance. In another thread I asked you a question about this (your feelings with other people).

When I was getting better this is what I realized pulls us back from the sanity/insanity line, having meaningful relationships with those around us (these things are more concrete and pull us out of our own heads - where we can get lost big time).

The person that I am closest to in this world is my husband. If anything ever happened to him it would throw my world into a tailspin but I would realize that I would have to make a life from what I have left.....