(((imapatient)))

you need to contain yourself - stop spiralling. this means, maybe putting those memos away, or giving them to a friend for safe keeping, so that you can stop feeding this spiral and making it go out of control.

go for a walk and clear your head. or go to the movies today and find distraction. anything to make you stop replaying these thoughts over and over again. i will be going to the movies today, so maybe you can join me on the other side of the world?

also, i understand your concerns with your new T. but, as you said, he's also an 'elder' of sorts, and i am sure he would have some useful suggestions on how to help you *right now*. do you think you could give him a call and let him know what's happening?

i am glad you are reaching out to this other T of your friends... i hope that comes through for you ok.

please come back and let us know how you are going.