oh Tao, I'm glad no one else is abusing you because you are so hard on yourself...

With so much going on in your life, it's no wonder you feel overwhelmed...I know I would.
If you had to zone in on the first step needed to get things going better, what would it be?
Listen, I'm not trying to be a Mensa Butt...
I truly care

When I was reading your reply, I felt frustrated so I can only imagine how you feel...
What's in your power to change right now? Within the next few days or so?
I always felt if I had one iota of control over something/anything, then I would have a chance at feeling ok. Maybe not feel great, but at least able to take it 1/2 day at a time.

Tao, in some ways, you are saying some of the same things as my daughter. She's been staying here after leaving a domestic violence situation. She's in the process of starting a new life...
She shared with me that this is the worse time for her to be going back into the work force, and it scares and worries her.
She's going to night school, but feels it's a waste because of the economy. Our state is slashing school budgets so she can't go back to teaching...not even as a sub.

It's not going to last forever. The trick is to get through these times as well as we can....
We all need a reason to get up in the morning, no matter how small or how foolish it may sound to anyone else.

...sometimes it's so easy to type, "We care and etc...." and it is the truth. It can be so hard to grasp, however, when we feel so trampled and lonely.
Tao, you've been through it before and you know it will be better.
And the next time I am in my own abyss? Please remind me of this, ok?

Cap