hi guys. i'm a bit worried about if i'm allowed to post here, because i don't have DID. i don't want to intrude on anyone's safe place and this might be a bit triggering. please pm me or one of the mods if you would prefer this post to be deleted - i dont want to hurt anyone.

my problem is this: i have a major problem with dissociating and flashbacks when i go to the doctor, and thought maybe you guys could help?

my doctor wants to give me a physical to make sure there isnt anything wrong. i had a cancer scare last year and so now she thinks it's important to make sure everything is working properly. this would involve an internal examination. i should have done this 6 years ago, but now she is saying it's important to do asap.

she said she could get a nurse to come and hold my hand when she did it. but i am scared about having more people in the room, because then there are more people to hold you down.

do you guys have any tips on how to deal with this? i dont want to get violent if she scares me, but i dont want to dissociate either. i find it very hard to ground myself afterwards and i dont know what happens when i'm gone.

i havent told her that i get scared, or that i have a problem with dissociating, because i dont want her to think i'm a freak. she already thinks im very messed up, because im on so many different meds for depression.