Well, ****ed it up already. I went on a dinner date Monday - all good and normal, even though she was quite falling over me. I still was strong enough to be cordial and platonic. In emails she dropped hints she wanted to go out New Years Eve if I wanted to and that's when I dropped the ball. I didn't think there would be any problems but I forgot I've got no self-esteem. I did call her New Years Eve, went out, held her hand (careful...) and then we got a drink (steady...) and watched the ball drop and... I kissed her (****). She totally got too happy and I had one more drink and we went to an all-night restaurant and cuddled, talked, and kissed for 3 hours.

While talking I found out more about her and confirmed that I just don't understand people and should have just been practicing dating - yet this was someone I shouldn't have practiced with since she was super-serious.

Another problem is that she is so shy around me that she can't be assertive or even communicative. I feel like I'm going to shoot Bambi's mother when I have "the talk". I don't want to have the talk.

That's where it stands and I have yet to go on another planned date tomorrow evening. But as I said before she is a coworker and so I'm just screwed now.

Ah *****.