you've counted your fears and now you know them T and you can work on getting the numbers down to a more t managable level - finding out what you are afraid of is a great step although it may not feel like it - it may seem overwhelming - but until you can see whats wrong how can you work on it?

and what will your T think of you - probably that you are in a lot of pain and made a human mistake and you say you know that T can help you - then accept that help - its hard but try to be kind to yourself