It feels like I am going to explode..
it all hurts
can't take it anymore..
I am so ****ing sick of losing time, forgetting things, so tired of the dreams, of the memories, I am tired of this hell hole that is supposed to be a home..
Home is supposed to be safe, home is supposed to be a loving place, but I have no home, I sit here on my room, my only refugee, and even then it is only a refugee at 3am, when everyone is asleep, and all is quiet, and there are no hateful words, no attack Sparrow sessions,

I am so close to just ****ing packing my bags, and leaving, just running away, I am sick, tired, worn, I am so close to just snapping,
I am full of rage, full of hurt..**** it all, this world is a puzzle and I don't know how to put it together anymore...

this sucks...I quit...or at least I want to

I am tired that everything I do is under the microscope, that everything I do is open for scrutiny and full critzim, everything from what I eat, to how I breathe, and no I am not overexagerating, it is the honest to god truth, I get critizied for how I BREATHE!!!!

My friends can tell I am close to losing it, I am falling into full self destruct mode, I am getting more and more withdrawn, I don't want to leave my room, all I do is sleep, my anxiety feels like it is going to make my heart EXPLODE

I just want to carve into myself, I want a new scar, I just want some comfort...some peace, I know it is wrong, but..it helps..it does, bad yes I know, but...just..so...I need this..I want it..I don't know what to do