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AG, this is not about forgetting the past, that's impossible. This is about forgiving the past and all its transgressions.

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Forgiving the past? Isn't that kinda what closure is about. I don't know how to find closure. I still hurt from all my failed relationships because I wasn't given the chance to talk with the other person to get closure.

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I've reread all my posts here. I feel that I did address the very issues you brought up. I addressed the relationship issues and how to move on and have closure in them. I explained how it all comes back to you, forgiving yourself. Not turning the anger and resentment inward, as you so adeptly do. But understanding that each and every person has their own issues.

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I don't recall reading that I should forgive myself in your reply. You did mention that everyone has their own issues and I agree. See my last reply re: anger turned inwards. It's hard for me to forgive myself when others don't. Plus that is only part of the scenerio. I'm only half of the failed relationship. There were two people. And when I don't get a chance to talk with that other person, then I'm left without closure. What if the other person does not see things in the way in which I meant them? The interpret something totally wrong and the way in which they interpret them is part of the reason they walk away. How does not having the ability to explain supposed to find me closure?

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I addressed the issue of being approachable for reconciliation...I pointed out where that may be difficult for some ppl because of your tendency to internalize everything to the point of taking the blame for everything and everything.

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Maybe that would be because the other person totally blames me for the relationship breaking up. I've yet to hear any of them take any responsibility yet.

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And from what I'm seeing of you now, you also have a tendency to be rather passive-aggresive. You state how mean I'm being to you in one breath and in the next you're saying how it's all your fault.

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Where have I said you are mean? I've said I'm hurt. I have no recollection of saying your mean.

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After your original post here, because ou rec'd only one response, me, you took it personally that you must be all alone in this plight. You have a way of projecting that no one could possibly suffer as much as you. Suffering is suffering is suffering, it's only circumstance that varies.

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OK, wrong choice of words, I seem to be so good at that and it so often gets me into trouble. I was hurt. I don't mean to imply that I'm suffering any more than anybody else. There are lots of people who suffer FAR more than me, I'm very aware and conscious of that. I'm sorry my reply was not appropriately worded.

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You've made some very specific posts about Cat, it's only natural for us to believe that this one is too. And I'm sure he is, but also your best friend and others as well

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I specifically mentioned my former best friend to take the reader's thoughts away from cat. I don't talk about him anymore and haven't for a long time until I'm forced to defend myself here. I guess if I should ever ask for any opinion on any relationship issue in the future, I'll have to be extremely specific as to not give anybody the opportunity to make the WRONG ASSUMPTIONS which are so often done. I wasn't specific, other than mentioning my former best friend, because I said that I've made the same mistake in ALL my relationships. I do NOT wish to talk about cat and I'm sorry that he has to even enter this conversation. It was not by my doing.

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Again, I ask you, what is it that you need AG. You makde a post in Depression, but do not respond, but when you made a post here and you didn't get the response you wanted, you became upset.

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Am I the only person who has ever posted just to vent and ask for no responses? NO! But I will refrain from that in the future, to which I've already stated in that thread.

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I'm trying to work with you here hon. I really am. but when you slam the door in my face what am i suppose to do with that? I will keep knocking. I'll keep ringing the door bell. I'll shout through the door. but it still comes down to you opening said door.

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I've opened the door. I wasn't looking to be criticized, no matter how constructive or supportive, I was looking for others to tell me how they found closure. I don't know how else to explain that. I guess I'm not very good on how to word things properly to get the kind of responses I'm looking for. I know you're not trying to hurt me, but only to help me but you've said things that now I question who I am because I sure as hell don't know anymore. I'm not who I thought I was, that's for sure. I'm come across totally different than the person to which I thought I was. I'm lost and confused.

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Closure is found within hon. It's not some external act of shutting a door or something. To achieve closure we must accept the truth, the whole truth, and might have nothing to do with you personally.

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If it might not have anything to do with me, then what is it? How do I find that out? The whole truth. When communication between me and whoever the other person is doesn't take place, then the whole truth never comes out. And the whole truth you are giving about me personally, as I said, leaves me feeling totally lost and confused. I have absolutely no idea who I even am anymore.

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Keep communicating AG. We'll get there eventually.
TgrsPurr. xo

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I am communicating. I'm confused, I'm hurt, I don't even know who I am, I'm totally lost.