Hi Moonlight,

I think that you shouldn't have to worry so much abot what your pdoc thinks about hurting yourself. So many people, including too many professionals, are so uncomfortable about SI and I think they deal with it the wrong way. SI is not the problem - it is a coping method and needs to be seen as such. It can get extreme and out of control, but if it isn't to that point I think they need to just look at it as a sign of how much other things are bothering you. Maybe that is why he asks about it?

Have you read my thread titled "busted?" Although my husband gets upset about me hurting myself, and I worry about making him feel bad, my T actually accepts it, has no problem with it at all, and even said that I might just accept that as something that I might always do. I think that we need more professionals with that attitude.

Borderline personality disorder has to do with emotional regulation as well as difficulty in relationships. Here's a website where you can read more about it: <A target="_blank" HREF=http://mentalhelp.net/poc/view_doc.php?type=doc&id=517&cn=8>http://mentalhelp.net/poc/view_doc.php?type=doc&id=517&cn=8</A> The affective instability reminds me of a very rapic cycling bipolar disorder, since people with BPD can swing from one extreme to the other so quickly. Since it is one of very few diagnoses that actually mentions self harm as one of the criteria, it is sometimes the first thing that a lot of professionals think of when somebody hurts themself. However, SI can be related to other things too, so that may or may not be a correct diagnosis. Unfortunately, they also have a tendency to regard people diagnosed with BPD as irritating and difficult, and often don't treat them with the amount of respect and dignity that everyone deserves. It's too bad, but attitudes of professionals towards people with borderline personality disorder really could stand to improve.

If you are not comfortable with the way your pdoc or therapist or anyone else treats you, try discussing it with them and letting them know how it makes you feel and what they could do better. They should be helping you to feel better, not making you feel bad about your problems. If you can't work it out with them, remember they work for you and you can go to someone else instead.

Take care,
Wendy

<font color=purple>"The real problem of mental life is not why some people become insane, but rather why most avoid insanity." -Erich Fromm</font color=purple>