thanks.
its just hard.
its been hard for a while..
and i dont know what to do when i get back to school. the only reason i havent given up on that altogether is my boyfriend.. he's what gets me up every morning and tbh... without him i would be.. outta here.
a "friend" (i.e a girl who claims to be friends with me yet *****es about everyone, including me, and when the other girl isnt in goes off with other people) tells me that she overreacts, but about something different. and that i'll find out why she overreacts when i get back to school. and that worries me cause... they know people. theyre fickle.
so ive decided.
im going to go in on monday morning. i shall try to talk to her. if she does anything.. screw it. im gonna withdraw my savings and just... leave for a bit. i dont know where im gonna go quite yet. i just need to clear my head.
ive done that before but never in schooltime. ive just argued with my parents and walked out. once i just.. sat by the river where i used to live. it sure was cold... but i was able to think, for once.
my dad told me if i ever need to just get out again i can go to my grandmothers. she lives a while away but he says he'd prefer it to me wandering out alone.
so ive got a plan now.
try... and if i fail, just give the ***** up.

thankyou cthomas... cause it may sound stupid, but its such a relief to know that someone - even a complete stranger - is out there giving a damn, even if its just for a moment, it counts.